Twins, Tantrums, and Triumphs: Surviving Toddler Meltdowns with Love and Laughter

Bethany Varndell-Dawes
Mar 13
4 min read

As a mother of twins, my life often feels like a roller coaster ride—filled with excitement, surprises, and the occasional gut-wrenching tantrum. From the moment they entered this world, my twin toddlers have kept me on my toes, leaving me to wonder why I didn’t invest in a good pair of noise-canceling headphones off the bat, I have since invest in Loop Ear Plugs for when noise level reach an all time high! Raising multiples brings its own unique challenges, and toddler tantrums top the list. Whether it’s a meltdown in a supermarket or a battle over a toy, I have had my fair share of dramatic outbursts. Through love and humour, I've found effective ways to navigate these stormy seas of toddler behaviour.

Understanding the Twin Toddler Tantrum Phenomenon

One striking aspect of tantrums in twin toddlers is that they often occur simultaneously. It feels like living in a tornado where two tiny, tempestuous forces collide! Understanding what triggers these meltdowns is crucial. Common causes include hunger, fatigue, or just wanting attention from me.

For instance, one of my twins may start a tantrum because they want a particular toy, while the other could be in tears over not wanting to share his snack. This leads to double the noise and chaos! Recognising these triggers allows me to prepare better for potential outbursts, enabling a more thoughtful response instead of an emotional reaction. Not always easy but we're all learning here.

Finding the Humour in the Chaos

In the heat of a tantrum, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. However, embracing humour in these situations can lighten the mood significantly. I remember a particularly loud cafe episode when one of my toddlers dramatically flopped onto the floor as we were just about to leave, shrieking and struggling against me as I franticly tried to calm him whilst simultaneously keeping tabs on his brother and attempting to get him in the buggy! Not for the faint of heart!

Rather than panicking, I decided to play along. I pretended to dramatically "sweep" him up and cradled them like a baby. This playful act diffused the anger and provided me with a much-needed chuckle. By incorporating humour into moments of chaos, I remind myself that parenting twins is a wild, comedic adventure, juxtaposed with the trials.

Techniques to Mitigate Tantrums

Through trial and error, I’ve discovered a few techniques that have helped reduce the frequency and intensity of tantrums. Here are some strategies that sometimes work for my twin tornadoes:

1. Routine and Predictability

Establishing a daily routine has proven to be effective at managing expectations and providing security. Research shows that consistent routines can lead to a 30% decrease in tantrums as children feel more secure and less anxious. We stick to a regular schedule for meals, naps, and playtime, which minimises surprises that might trigger meltdowns.

2. Offer Choices

To curb power struggles, I give my toddlers limited choices. Instead of asking them, "What do you want for lunch?" I might say, "Would you like cheese on your pasta?" This small shift not only empowers them but also makes meals smoother as they have sense of choice.

3. Validation and Empathy

During the peaks of a meltdown, acknowledging their feelings goes a long way. For example, I often say, “I know it's hard isn't it.” Whilst hugging it out and offering a distraction. Validating their emotions helps them feel understood and can lead to a quicker calming process.

4. Mindful Distraction

Distraction can sometimes work wonders. Engaging them in a funny song, a silly dance, or even a change of focus can transform their mood and keep both toddlers entertained.

Armour Up with Patience

Deep breaths, my fellow twin mums! Remember, patience is a virtue that needs constant honing when managing twin tantrums. There are days when I feel like a superhero juggling two crying toddlers, and other days when it feels completely overwhelming.

On especially tough days, I remind myself that this phase is temporary. As they grow, so too do their communication skills, making it easier for them to express their wants and needs more constructively.

Embrace the Joys of Parenthood

Between the tantrums and challenges, there are moments of pure joy worth cherishing. Watching my twins play together, share a giggle, or discover something new fills my heart with endless love.

One of my favourite memories is when they turned a tantrum into a spontaneous fit of giggles over blowing raspberries at each other. I realised that even in chaos, there are countless reasons to laugh and celebrate.

Navigating the Adventure of Twin Parenting

Parenting twin toddlers through their tantrums is undeniably an adventure filled with ups and downs. By approaching each meltdown with love, humor, and practical strategies, I find that parenting is as much about survival as it is about making wonderful memories.

With each tantrum and triumph, I grow closer to my little ones. I learn more about myself, the importance of patience, and the incredible power of laughter. So, to all the mothers of twins navigating the unpredictable waters of toddler behaviour—hang in there! Embrace the chaos, and remember to find joy in every little moment along the journey.